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Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
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7:01 am - Oh bay-bay, you're breakin' my ear.
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At the coffee shop I frequent, they occasionally play a radio station which has an all-(nineteen-)eighties segment on certain evenings. During this segment, they occasionally play several small self-announcing blurbs, one of which features various 1980s-ish sound clips, beginning (indeed before any words are spoken or context given) with the Super Mario Bros. theme. And I, in my infinite foolishness, always think for a moment that someone has chosen to use this tune in a song, which falsely piques my hopes.
I'm certain I once heard a song which made extensive use of the Gauntlet theme on another station, though.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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11:57 pm - Jimmy Durante kills people.
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I had a dream in which I went to a party and met many fascinating individuals with whom I got along exceptionally well. What we had here was clearly the blossoming of a number of delightful new friendships. Then, of course, I woke up and discovered that none of these people had ever existed in the first place.
Cue descending trombone scale.
This happens rather a lot, really.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
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12:55 am - Plato was no Jim Davis.
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| Monday, August 24th, 2009
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6:16 am - Erosion shouldn't exist.
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| Sunday, July 12th, 2009
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6:32 am - McDonald's could be my kind of place.
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| Saturday, July 4th, 2009
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6:59 am - A pig's-eye view.
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I swear, those local robot kids keep the entire neighborhood awake with their nightly laser battles.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
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2:46 am - Your pancake smells champion.
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| Monday, May 25th, 2009
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1:29 am - How dare ye dodge the barrel!
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| Thursday, May 14th, 2009
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8:35 am - Close your nose and relax.
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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1:22 am - Duct tape gives to charity.
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| Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
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7:20 am - How come did they invent the languages?
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I took a walk in the woods today around dawn. Previously this was not at all an uncommon activity for me, but its rate of frequency has plummeted considerably in the past year or so. It had an interesting æsthetic; no real leaves on most of the trees yet by this point--but all manner of little shoots and blossoms of the sort that exist only for a short time in the early-to-mid-spring and are easily overlooked, suggestive of a rather more delicate and subtle sort of vitality which I find appeals to the Gemüt on a much finer level than even the full vegetative bounty of the forest. Particularly striking for me was this ground cover here, which combined with the subdued light and early-morning dew served to remind me rather heavily of certain bits of temperate rainforest I had trekked through in the past. That, in turn, summoned up a rather substantial well of wanderlust, which, alas, circumstances render very unlikely to be fulfilled in the future. But them, as they say, is simply the breaks.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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6:50 am - Bope bope bope bope bope bope
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I don't so much mind the cold rainy days, but I really can't stand cold rainy nights these days.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, March 27th, 2009
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6:30 am - The marketing guitar
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| Monday, February 16th, 2009
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7:15 am - Naked people can't talk.
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| Saturday, January 17th, 2009
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8:32 am - You don't have to be a bum to do the twist!
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On the Eve of the New Year, I fell into the company of some interesting strangers, who had somewhere managed to obtain several makers of noise (percussion version). One of these they also bestowed upon me, as well. It must be said, however, that the workmanship of these devices left much to be desired, for several of these machines--my own included--displayed a distressing tendency to reduce to their component parts even before the night was through. This dissolution revealed a curious fact, however--although the top portion was clearly professionally manufactured (as witnessed by the complicated machine-painted pattern and the "Made in USA"), the lower, flimsier body appeared to have been adapted from a Taster's Choice brand instant coffee container. Curious though I found this at the time, it was not such a remarkable matter as to establish a firm place in the more frequently visited halls of my memory, and I forgot the matter completely over the following two weeks.
That is, until several days afore, when idle curiosity drove me to cast a more discriminating glance upon the remains. And lo! I discovered the following:
There still reside freeze-dried coffee particles within the crevices of the housing!
One's immediate reaction is, of course, to regard this as evidence of laxness of production methods and indeed a negligent disregard for even the most basic of standards of cleanliness. Yet I propose an alternative possibility: the coffee was in fact intended as a New Year's Day, post-boozing wake-up treat. In this event, both the lack of structural integrity and the concealed crystals were not oversights at all, but rather deliberate and essential features of the device, and indeed gestures of good will toward and consideration for the well-being of its user. Goofy conical-shaped hats off to you, anonymous manufacturer.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 1st, 2009
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11:56 pm - You can't spell, pie.
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| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008
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8:14 am - Mama mia! The martians are straightening the Tower of Pisa!
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| Sunday, December 14th, 2008
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8:05 pm - The ice snaps the monarch's spirit.
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I found the following lying about on my computer. The event in question actually took place rather some time ago, but I had originally only spoken about it with a few select individuals. Looking over my account again, however, I think it merits being shared with my imaginary audience here as well...
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It all began in a room which looked as though it stemmed from one of the fortresses in the video game Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island, only in three dimensions, as per most rooms outisde of older video games. There I had to complete a puzzle involving switches and colored blocks, which allowed me to access a free-floating platform, upon which stood a speckled-egg-patterned door. I knew that beyond this door I would learn the backstory of a very important figure in my life. I entered, and the following scene played before my eyes:
Two parties stood before what looked like a small-scale firehouse garage door: to the left, an unassuming young married couple; and to the right, directly before the door, an equally unassuming middle-aged woman. They blabbed idly about unremarkable topics, including banal workaday events, their current state of employment, and, in the case of the married couple, what they planned to name their future child. This was all a front, however, as all three individuals were secretly alligators, and both groups were simply waiting for the right opportunity to eat the other.
Neither party was aware of the other's secret identity. If they had been, there may have been some change of plans, at least on the part of the married couple. In their true form, both members of the couple were of an average gatory size, and rather similar in appearance, aside from their color, one being a slightly lighter shade of green than the other. They were flatter than one might normally expect--something like a gator-shaped pool float--and their heads were oddly blocky, as though they had been crafted from oversized Lego blocks. The solitary middle-aged woman, to the contrary, was in gator form simply enormous—in contrast to her projected appearance, only her head actually emerged from the garage (the door appeared closed in her projected image, but it was in reality open). Said head looked rather similar in form to that of the other two gators, but much larger, red in color, and made of metal. The rest of her (concealed) body resembled a large freight truck, complete with wheels instead of legs.
It may be argued that despite the differences in scale, the married couple's disguise was much better than that of the solitary woman—for while I almost always saw the solitary woman in her true, gatorish form, I had to concentrate in order to see the married couple as anything but their projected image. Despite this, their superior ability to craft disguises did not appear to bring with it an ability to see through the disguises of others, as they seemed quite unaware of how outmatched they were in the eating department.
By coincidence, both parties decided to drop their disguises at the same exact moment, in preparation for the planned chomp-fest. However, before the massacre could take place, some pheromones were released, possibly as a result of the gators’ excited state. Both the male gator and the larger female gator appeared to be affected thereby. Through an unseen force they were drawn about through the air in erratic patterns, rather in the manor of a love-struck cartoon character, complete with comical cries of "Whoa-ho-ho!" and so forth. Each was then propelled toward the other at high speed.
Despite their originally being positioned about two meters apart, it took the two gators rather some time to reach each other. Furthermore, the action appeared to be relocated to a nighttime highwayscape. As the female gator's four wheels propelled her with ever-increasing speed along the asphalt, she opened her mouth in preparation to receive the male, who in turn shot arrow-like through the air in the opposite direction. Having built up considerable momentum, he crashed snout-first into the female’ gaping metal maw, tearing apart her innards and causing her to erupt into an enormous fireball, which consumed the male as well.
Despite the gators' destruction, however, the female's wheeled chassis continued to dutifully trundle forth through the night. As the smoke cleared, I noticed sitting atop it a medium-sized chest of drawers--the lone offspring of this unorthodox mating ritual. Its name, I knew, was the same as that the gators had suggested assigning to their first child during their earlier attempt to lull each other into a false sense of security. Perhaps such idle chatter had revealed more than initially intended.
It took a moment or two for the dresser to quite take in the events that had just occurred around it. As the horrible realization finally sunk in, the furniture then cried out in agony: "Mommy...daddy...nooooooo!" It was immediately following this cry that the chassis and its occupant proceeded to speed over the edge of a high cliff, and plummeted pitifully earthward along a semi-arc-shaped trajectory.
I knew, nevertheless, that the chest of drawers had survived this fall, as I recalled it playing a significant, if indirect role in various defining moments of my life--for it was this chest of drawers was the very figure from my life whose backstory I knew I was to discover through the previously mentioned speckled door. And having now witnessed the preceding events, I finally had some context with which I could finally understand the significance of its subsequent behaviors. An illuminating experience indeed.
Now if only I still retained some memory as to exactly what some of these subsequent behaviors were...
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, December 12th, 2008
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5:36 am - Then the ship struck a rock--oh lord, what a shock!
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Overheard on the bus (from what appeared to be a chef, no less)--
"Do you know what cilantro is? It's basically a mix of onions, tomatoes and lettuce."
You learn something new every day.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 8th, 2008
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3:09 am - It's like an alley...with cream cheese!
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Yesterday I witnessed an ad stating that the film Frank Claus, which apparently concerns the exploits of Santy Clawrs's ill-mannered, alcoholic brother, was now available "On Demand". Yet somehow I doubt that there exists such a great number of individuals "demanding" to see Frank Claus.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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poorpoorrocket's journal
